I tend to have a difficult time saying my personal thoughts. It’s something I’m aware of and that I’m working on, but I have to actively remind myself to ‘share’ my inner thoughts. I’ve never really been in an environment (either by family/relationships) where I either felt comfortable enough to be myself and wouldn’t be judged or the people in my life weren’t so self-involved that my thoughts became trivial.
The scruffy tends to remind me on a constant basis that he wants to hear all the things all of the time. My inner self screeches to a halt and my words get stuck a lot, but.. I’m trying.
I told him that I’m so used to everything else being in a state of upheaval, that it feels like constant complaining.
New job = super stress
Constant Recovery Pain Issues
Etc and more
The difference now is that, there’s this constant, this calm, this Scruffy. It makes the other things 20% more possible to handle. I babbled on about this for a while.
I also told him I tend to make a list in my head that reminds me of why there’s this calm. Yesterday’s example was:
I have like 23 Blistex that I leave around the apartment. Each day I get home, they are in a new formation on the drawers next to my side of the bed.